Swampy Meadows
11-20-2008, 10:41 PM
BEVERLY HILLS (MI) –- Who says you can’t teach an old hound dog a few new tricks? The following are a couple of minor personal lifestyle alterations made in the past few years that have proven quite beneficial for me.
Sports Chill Pill
For the longest time, every single loss by any of my favorite teams was taken way too personally. You can blame the Celtics and Red Sox for this neurosis; the Celts, for winning 8 NBA championships in a row in my youth (and 11 in 13 years) and basically spoiling my ass; the Sawx, because they continually found new and progressively more demoralizing ways to go down in flames. The Red Sox also provided the cure: 2004 allowed me to exhale, relax and enjoy professional sports for what they really are -- a bunch of millionaires playing a freakin’ kid’s game.
The Pats’ Super Bowl loss to the Giants? Meh.
Which, BTW, is a word now:
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20081117/ap_on_re_eu/eu_britain_new_word
The Sox bowing to the Rays in the most recent ALCS? I was okay with that.
Which is not to say that should the Flyers be fortunate enuf make it to the NCAA Finals at Ford Field next March and subsequently lose that I won’t be walking the slushy streets of Detroit all night, mumbling to myself about missed FTs.
Stretching
A lot of times before playing pickup hoops, younger guys will look at me kinda strange when they see me lie down on my back and go thru my pre-game stretching regimen. Believe me, hoopin’ would not be possible if I didn’t stretch before every single outing.
Last year I started to experience severe pain that radiated from my lower back, down to both of my knees. It made it difficult for me to bend over and limited my mobility both on and off the court. Plus, sometimes it just plain hurt like hell. I asked the future Dr. Younger Swampette what I could do about it. Since it wasn’t an actual injury, per se, she suspected it was nerve-related and showed me a couple of additional stretches specifically designed to help address pain in that area. Bingo! While the stretches did not provide an instant miracle cure, they did alleviate the pain almost immediately and eventually it disappeared.
The pre-hoops stretching is now part of my daily morning routine and my legs feel stronger and healthier because of it. BTW, the FDYS says that if you are doing stretches and don’t hold them for at least 15 seconds you’re basically wasting your time.
Flossing
Any of you enjoy going to the dentist? I have always disliked it. I shouldn’t say that –- I actually managed to fall asleep in the chair at my first dentist when I was in 2nd grade. My lack of diligence about brushing my teeth resulted in lots of cavities. Our 2nd dentist was a friend of my dad’s and he wasn’t a big believer in trying to save troubled teeth –- he would just yank them instead. Consequently, I have empty spaces where most people still have choppers.
My current DDS is fine; it’s her hygienists that I have never been too crazy about. Whenever they were probing my gums during a cleaning it felt like they were drilling for oil and I would always end up bleeding like a stuck pig. They would constantly lecture me about gum disease and the need to floss daily and I always ignored them. When the dentist gave me the name of an Endodontist to see about my gums, I knew that it was time to change things up. My wife got us each a battery-powered toothbrush and I began flossing religiously. My last 2 checkups I have gotten rave reviews about how great my gums looked and how I didn’t bleed when they probed. It’s a good thing for me that they didn’t, too, because I never went to see that ****ed Endodontist.
10 over
I have always been a fast driver. Consequently, I have accumulated my fair share of traffic tickets over the years, especially in the fair state of Ohio which we travel thru fairly often. With my new job requiring me to drive back-and-forth to Chicago every other week, I needed to undergo an attitude adjustment about my need for speed. I decided to adopt a new approach: 10MPH over the speed limit. Here in Michigan the speed limit is 70MPH on all of the interstates and the staties aren’t even going to give you a 2nd look if you are only doing 80. It’s only when you get up over 90 that they’ll get after you. Several stretches of I-94 in Indiana and Illinois are 65MPH and some are even 55MPH. By staying within 10 MPH over the posted limit I am consistently ignored by the gendarmes who are looking for bigger, faster-moving fish to fry.
The added benefit of not having to slam on the brakes every time a cruiser comes into view on the horizon is kinda nice, too.
Here’s a link to an article on the psychology involved in this very subject:
http://www.boston.com/news/nation/washington/articles/2008/11/07/speed_limits_set_low_may_fuel_drivers_to_go_faster/
Sunscreen
We should preface this discussion by disclosing that I am ¼ Native American and have always tanned very easily; Mrs. Swampy, being of Irish/German ancestry, not so much. So, when we acquired our Sebring convertible she christened it with a bottle -- not of champagne –- but rather of sunscreen. She was really concerned that I would get skin cancer, since the top goes down if the temperature is anywhere north of 50 degrees. I applied it every day in the summer and it really made my ugly mug look and feel better, not to mention protect me from those evil rays. So now I’m gonna continue using sunscreen/moisturizer even in the winter months. Gotta watch out for that wicked winter windburn, dontcha know? Did I just sound like Sarah Palin or what?
Which reminds me: remember the famous story about author Kurt Vonnegut supposedly addressing the graduating class at MIT and imploring them to use sunscreen?
Yeah, well it never happened:
http://www.wesselenyi.com/Vonnegutstory.htm
In the same speech, the pretend-Vonnegut also says to “Floss” and to “Be kind to your knees. You'll miss them when they're gone.”
Couldn’t have said it better myself.
Got anything in your life that could stand a little change?
That’s it “From the Swamp.”
You can email me at: swampy@udpride.com
Sports Chill Pill
For the longest time, every single loss by any of my favorite teams was taken way too personally. You can blame the Celtics and Red Sox for this neurosis; the Celts, for winning 8 NBA championships in a row in my youth (and 11 in 13 years) and basically spoiling my ass; the Sawx, because they continually found new and progressively more demoralizing ways to go down in flames. The Red Sox also provided the cure: 2004 allowed me to exhale, relax and enjoy professional sports for what they really are -- a bunch of millionaires playing a freakin’ kid’s game.
The Pats’ Super Bowl loss to the Giants? Meh.
Which, BTW, is a word now:
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20081117/ap_on_re_eu/eu_britain_new_word
The Sox bowing to the Rays in the most recent ALCS? I was okay with that.
Which is not to say that should the Flyers be fortunate enuf make it to the NCAA Finals at Ford Field next March and subsequently lose that I won’t be walking the slushy streets of Detroit all night, mumbling to myself about missed FTs.
Stretching
A lot of times before playing pickup hoops, younger guys will look at me kinda strange when they see me lie down on my back and go thru my pre-game stretching regimen. Believe me, hoopin’ would not be possible if I didn’t stretch before every single outing.
Last year I started to experience severe pain that radiated from my lower back, down to both of my knees. It made it difficult for me to bend over and limited my mobility both on and off the court. Plus, sometimes it just plain hurt like hell. I asked the future Dr. Younger Swampette what I could do about it. Since it wasn’t an actual injury, per se, she suspected it was nerve-related and showed me a couple of additional stretches specifically designed to help address pain in that area. Bingo! While the stretches did not provide an instant miracle cure, they did alleviate the pain almost immediately and eventually it disappeared.
The pre-hoops stretching is now part of my daily morning routine and my legs feel stronger and healthier because of it. BTW, the FDYS says that if you are doing stretches and don’t hold them for at least 15 seconds you’re basically wasting your time.
Flossing
Any of you enjoy going to the dentist? I have always disliked it. I shouldn’t say that –- I actually managed to fall asleep in the chair at my first dentist when I was in 2nd grade. My lack of diligence about brushing my teeth resulted in lots of cavities. Our 2nd dentist was a friend of my dad’s and he wasn’t a big believer in trying to save troubled teeth –- he would just yank them instead. Consequently, I have empty spaces where most people still have choppers.
My current DDS is fine; it’s her hygienists that I have never been too crazy about. Whenever they were probing my gums during a cleaning it felt like they were drilling for oil and I would always end up bleeding like a stuck pig. They would constantly lecture me about gum disease and the need to floss daily and I always ignored them. When the dentist gave me the name of an Endodontist to see about my gums, I knew that it was time to change things up. My wife got us each a battery-powered toothbrush and I began flossing religiously. My last 2 checkups I have gotten rave reviews about how great my gums looked and how I didn’t bleed when they probed. It’s a good thing for me that they didn’t, too, because I never went to see that ****ed Endodontist.
10 over
I have always been a fast driver. Consequently, I have accumulated my fair share of traffic tickets over the years, especially in the fair state of Ohio which we travel thru fairly often. With my new job requiring me to drive back-and-forth to Chicago every other week, I needed to undergo an attitude adjustment about my need for speed. I decided to adopt a new approach: 10MPH over the speed limit. Here in Michigan the speed limit is 70MPH on all of the interstates and the staties aren’t even going to give you a 2nd look if you are only doing 80. It’s only when you get up over 90 that they’ll get after you. Several stretches of I-94 in Indiana and Illinois are 65MPH and some are even 55MPH. By staying within 10 MPH over the posted limit I am consistently ignored by the gendarmes who are looking for bigger, faster-moving fish to fry.
The added benefit of not having to slam on the brakes every time a cruiser comes into view on the horizon is kinda nice, too.
Here’s a link to an article on the psychology involved in this very subject:
http://www.boston.com/news/nation/washington/articles/2008/11/07/speed_limits_set_low_may_fuel_drivers_to_go_faster/
Sunscreen
We should preface this discussion by disclosing that I am ¼ Native American and have always tanned very easily; Mrs. Swampy, being of Irish/German ancestry, not so much. So, when we acquired our Sebring convertible she christened it with a bottle -- not of champagne –- but rather of sunscreen. She was really concerned that I would get skin cancer, since the top goes down if the temperature is anywhere north of 50 degrees. I applied it every day in the summer and it really made my ugly mug look and feel better, not to mention protect me from those evil rays. So now I’m gonna continue using sunscreen/moisturizer even in the winter months. Gotta watch out for that wicked winter windburn, dontcha know? Did I just sound like Sarah Palin or what?
Which reminds me: remember the famous story about author Kurt Vonnegut supposedly addressing the graduating class at MIT and imploring them to use sunscreen?
Yeah, well it never happened:
http://www.wesselenyi.com/Vonnegutstory.htm
In the same speech, the pretend-Vonnegut also says to “Floss” and to “Be kind to your knees. You'll miss them when they're gone.”
Couldn’t have said it better myself.
Got anything in your life that could stand a little change?
That’s it “From the Swamp.”
You can email me at: swampy@udpride.com