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2020 You Suck
2020 You Suck
Published by Swampy Meadows
2020 You Suck

BEVERLY HILLS (MI) -- This year cannot be over soon enuf. The past 12 months have inflicted a pandemic upon the general populace, creating economic unrest, killing hundreds of thousands of Americans and from a basketball standpoint, stealing what would have been UD’s most memorable post-season. 2020 is perfectly summarized in this commercial from Match.com:


Right up to the very last page of the calendar, 2020 continues to hit Flyer fans below the belt with headlines like this:

Obi Toppin has calf strain, will miss at least one week

Probably 2-3 weeks though


And this tweet from Jeff Goodman:

Minnesota’s least-heralded transfer was HUGE for the Gophers: Western Michigan transfer Brandon Johnson with 26 points, 8-9 from 3 and also pulling down nine boards.

Recruitniks will recall that AG went hard after Johnson, but lost out to Little Ricky.

Bad news seems to be everywhere. The entertainment industry has lost scores of talented folks, as this remembrance from Turner Classic Movies will attest:


The sporting world has been equally hard hit. Baseball lost Hall of Fame talents like Bob Gibson, Tom Seaver, Al Kaline, Joe Morgan, Lou Brock, Whitey Ford and Phil Niekro.

Little known fact: Phil Niekro played on the same Bridgeport (OH) HS basketball team as John Havlicek. In fact they lived on the same street.

Another obscure fact: Niekro was 17-1 as a pitcher in HS. His only loss was 1-0 to Tiltonsville in 1954, his freshman year, when fellow Baseball Hall of Famer Bill Mazeroski hit the game-winning home run!

My favorite NBA team the Boston Celtics lost a couple of immortals in player/coach/color commentator Tommy Heinsohn and most recently, player/coach KC Jones. KC was a teammate of Bill Russell’s on the two-time NCAA Champion USF Dons squad, the 1956 gold medal winning US Olympic team as well as on 8 NBA Champion Celtics’ quintets. He then went on to coach the Larry Bird-led C’s to two NBA crowns. Bob Ryan remembers Jones as being exactly what that team needed:


But for some folks, not everything this year turned into dog squeeze. For example:

The Man Who Found Forrest Fenn's Treasure


Las Vegas slots player wins $15.5M jackpot on Christmas Eve


Birdwatcher Discovers $1M Worth Of Ancient Celtic Gold Coins


And when all else fails, we always have the “Fark Headline of the Year” winners to help us forget our troubles:

We are 11 days into isolation and it is really upsetting me to see my wife at the living room window gazing aimlessly with tears. Don't get me wrong, I empathize with her. I've considered letting her in many times, but rules are rules

Cleveland Indians considering name change to be less offensive. So get your tickets now for the Ohio Indians

American Girl introduces first doll with hearing loss. In other news, the dolls have apparently been listening this whole time

Mars has Earthquakes. Which is odd, because you'd think those things would only occur on Earth

Mark Mothersbaugh of DEVO contracted Covid-19 and nearly died, but he whipped it. Whipped it good

Dalmatian gives birth to 18 puppies, gets charged with littering

More than 50 ways to cook your eggs. Just give it a crack, Jack; get a good pan, Stan; don't use too much soy, Roy; just gitcha some ghee

Jeff Sessions got 32.5%, Tommy Tuberville took 30.8%, Bradley Byrne hit 27.3% but Roy Moore couldn't even get into the teens

Broad study shows online misogyny is on the rise

Alligators pound front door of Fort Myers home, suggesting that the homeowner should consider giving each gator aide

9 pound cakes you'll love. That may sound like a lot of cake to some folks, but I like big bundts and I can not lie

Polish President Duda dropped in at the White House yesterday. Not known if he went on to visit the Camptown Racetrack

That’s it “From the Swamp”
You can email me at: swampy@udpride.com
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By Swampy Meadows on 12-31-2020, 05:19 PM
That’s what I get for writing a column about how much 2020 bites the big one, 3 days before the year actually ended. Chase Johnson absenting himself from school and the team for a second time puts the mustard on top of this sh*t sandwich that the last 12 months represents.

My bad.
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By Chris R on 12-31-2020, 06:11 PM
Glad to see 2020 in the rear view. It can always be worse. Just hoping it wont.
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