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How Life Imitates a Game Thread on a Message Board
How Life Imitates a Game Thread on a Message Board
Jim Meadows
Published by Swampy Meadows
How Life Imitates a Game Thread on a Message Board

BEVERLY HILLS (MI) –- It turns out that Forrest Gump’s Momma had it all wrong, chilluns. The fact of the matter is that life does not remotely approximate a box of chocolates. Not even close. No, in reality human existence more closely resembles a game thread on a message board. How so? I’m glad you asked!

Everything is absolutely, positively an absolute—without exception:

As in life, there is no room for wishy-washy messaging in a game thread… ever!

“Our defense is absolutely pathetic right now. As bad as I've seen from the Flyers in a looooong time.”

“I don't think we'll ever see a good FT shooting team at UD...ever.”

“No way he gets drafted...no way.”

“Is it the first road game for Chris Wright? He is absolutely worthless tonight.”

“These kids from Akron don't miss.”

“Same thing as last year--they let teams back in.”

“Can anyone hit a mid range jumper?”

It’s either black or white—there are no shades of gray:

No need to deal in degrees, when all or nothing is so much easier to comprehend.

“Boy another PG who can't hit a foul shot. Next four years at crunch time are going to be interesting.”

“Wright out has absolutely no impact on this game.”

“I'm really not impressed with Parker's defense.”

“Different year, same shizit, they are horrible on the road--can anyone
imagine what George Mason will do to them--they are much better than Ole Miss.”

“A fitting end to an absolutely unacceptable half of basketball.”

“Seems like it's been awhile since CW has done anything worthwhile. And I'm not talking about just this game.”

When in doubt, jump off the nearest cliff (No cliff nearby? A bandwagon will do just fine):

Why wait until the outcome of the game is assured? Be the first kid on your block to make like a lemming and take the plunge!

“Different year....same old crap...nothing changes with this coach or team. Nothing.”

“It’s going to be tough to make a comeback in this one.”

“Warm up the bus....we are awful. This Ole Miss folks....a bubble team.”

“Getting destroyed, something tells me that I'm going to want these 2 hours back when it's over. Unfortunately, it's not surprising.”

“Those who yell at us for jumping off the bandwagon this early will say it all the way up until we're in the NIT again...and it will be acceptable to them too.”

“Umm... Not saying the sky is falling, but what's going on here? Did we overlook Savannah State or are we just playing around with them before we unleash our fury?”

“Last year the team may not have deserved to get booed. Tonight? Yes.”

“Big Dance my ass......”

“Let’s stop talking about selection Sunday. If you lose to Savannah State you don't project to the NIT.”

“Same $#@%, different year.”

The grass is always greener, etc., etc.:

The woulda, coulda, shoulda view of Flyer opponents:

“Why do other teams have players that hit shots from the third row????”

“Ole Miss plays good music during their timeouts. Why can't we do that?”

“Ole Miss is just a better team right now. It's a long season. Our team has a lot of improving to do.”

“For a team with nobody over 6'8", they are killing us inside.”

“Do these guys ever miss?”

When in doubt, blame BG:

He doesn’t shoot the ball or defend the three, but when something goes amiss, let’s all look askance at the coach, shall we?

“This is bad, bad basketball. BG needs to fire the guys up.”

“BG, please make an adjustment and stop helping off of some of these guys. I find it hard to believe we don't have the athletes to defend some of these guys one on one.”

“What a surprise...defending the 3 is an issue once again. BG better nip this in the butt better than he did against Akron.”

“Well this is embarrassing! We have to come ready to play every night and it is obvious that we did not tonight. Hopefully BG is causing the paint to peel off the walls of the locker room.”

Thankfully, the fact of the matter is:

Very few things in life are an absolute; there are many shades of gray to life beyond the presence of all color and the absence of it; it ain’t over until it’s over; the grass isn’t always greener, sometimes it’s just AstroTurf; the coach gets most of the blame and virtually none of the credit.

Life, like a Flyer basketball season, is a journey. Think back on your career...or your marriage…or if you’re really young, ponder your HS or college years. There are undoubtedly some good moments and some less than stellar ones, too. But this isn’t the Governorship of Alaska we’re talkin’ about here -- you can’t just quit in the middle and walk away. You gotta stay with it and see it thru to the end, regardless of whether the outcome is good, bad or indifferent.

Try and keep all of that stuff in mind as the Flyboys head into the battle of the unbeatens in the Championship game of the Global Sports Main Event with the Bearkitties on Saturday evening, should you decide to post in the game thread on the UD Pride MB.

Oh yeah and if I’m not mistaken, the last time I looked the Flyers were 5-0. Imagine what it would be like around here if they were 0-5!

For that we can all be thankful. Happy Thanksgiving to all of the Flyer Faithful.

That’s it “From the Swamp.”
You can email me at: swampy@udpride.com
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By Whacker on 11-27-2010, 11:41 AM
Excellent column Swampy! Gets right to the heart of what I love about college basketball - watching a team grow and develop throughout the season. This year's team may take longer to find their identity, but have the opportunity to be something special in in Feb/March.
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