It’s time for the 2nd annual “From the Swamp” Year in Review column. I was dumb enuf to write one last year, so it looks like I’m stuck doing it again for 2003. The first thing you’ll notice is, damn, I wrote a lot more frequently this year than last—oftentimes once a week or more…don’t know if that’s a good thing or not!

Anyway, FTS christened the calendar on January 5th with a little ditty entitled “Of Gamblers, Sportswriters and Fools”. It dealt with feedback on a previous column on wagering, some clever repartee with Gregg Doyel (then of ESPN.com) and showcased the inanity of a Marquette fan named Cloudpiercer, who talked trash on the Flyer Fan MBs for a full week before the MU game and then went MIA after the his boys lost.

A week later, FTS was back documenting the fact that Cloudpiercer was a jerk even to his homies on the MU MB and thanking Mike Decourcy of TSN for some nice ink of the Flyer victory over Marquette.

On the 19th FTS featured a bunch of quick hitters such as:

–“One look at OP’s Moochie Norris afro from his ODU playing days and it’s painfully clear that he has no reason to be busting Mark Jones about his.”

–“So, Nate Green’s real first name is Dominic. Somehow, ‘Dominic Dogg’ just doesn’t have the same ring to it, does it?”

7 days later, FTS returned with suggestions such as these:

–“Evansville beats #10 Creighton…even the Flyers so-called “ugly wins” are getting better looking all the time.”

–“I have no idea who the idiot posting under the name “daytondick” on the X Message Board is, but can you do the rest of us a big favor and stop being such a…well, for lack of a better term…dick?”

A short 3 days later, I emailed Chris an FTS from the Elder Swampette’s suite at VWK that was literally hot off the presses, filed immediately after watching the Flyers beat up on UMass 83-55 in person at the Arena. A few samples:

–“I was here the night this place opened 33 years ago and I have to tell you that the renovations were money well spent—it looks like a totally different facility, inside and out.”

–“I don’t know why they refer to (UMass Coach) Steve Lappas as “Rat Face” on the A-10 MB—he looks more like “Nutria Face” to me.” (For those of you who don’t get my subtle sense of humor, a nutria looks exactly like a rat, only bigger.)

A week later, I was able to write about some of the great people that I met when I was in town for the UMass game and on the road for the Duquesne tilt, folks like the “Hometown Coach” Mark Adams, Leslie Gonya AKA Mrs. Flyer Fanatic, Chris and Pete Waleskowski and the 2nd place winner in the “Mr. Clean Look Alike Contest”, my esteemed editor, Chris Rieman.

On February 21st, just before we headed to Sanibel Island, FL for vacation, I penned a column simply entitled “Beat Xavier.” Unfortunately, for the 2nd time in the 2002-2003 season the Flyers didn’t, but it wasn’t for lack of trying. My favorite line:

“X knew then (the 1st X/UD game) and they know now that they are totally screwed without David West.”

Off to a mediocre 5-3 start in 2003-2004, I’d say the veracity of this statement is slowly and painfully being absorbed down in Muskieland.

Upon our return from Sun Tan Land, Mrs. Swampy, the Swampettes and I took in the Fordham game, in which #25 UD was a 26 point favorite, but barely held on for the V. It was Senior Night and here’s a telling passage for you:

“The picture on the front of Sunday’s DDN is priceless: OP is hugging Brooks Hall, who is holding his beautiful baby girl, Brooklyn. Tears are clearly visible in Coach Purnell’s eyes. This is definitely the man I want coaching my alma mater—it’s obvious he cares.”

A few weeks later, we would all learn exactly why OP was so emotionally moved.

The next edition of FTS allowed me to empty the email inbox. Lots of love letters from X fans, who took particular exception to the line cited above about X being SOL without DWest. That prompted my most prophetic observation of the year:

“As for my comment about X being screwed without DW, just wait until next year, cowboy. Caudle and Myles are nice players, but they are garbage men. On offense, their man doubles down on West and they put back any misses because there is nobody laying a body on them. You’ll soon discover that garbage men aren’t very busy when there is nobody to clean up after.”

Also got some high praise from another X fan, who provided my family with hours of comedic material:

“In addition to being a huge fat a**, you’re a f***ing moron!”

Your mama.

“It Is What It Is” was the title of my post-Tulsa, shell-shocked, early exit from the NCAA Tournament offering. UD had come so far, only to stumble so fast. It didn’t seem real. A #16 ranking…a #4 seed and Uncle Mo on the Flyers’ side after winning their first-ever A-10 Tournament and all of it was gone in a heartbeat. In the end, “it is what it is—it’s only basketball.”

“Happy Trails” documented the equally all-too-fast transformation of Oliver Purnell from Head Coach to Ex-Coach. I do a lot of prognosticatin’ in this space and I’m wrong more often that not, but my crystal ball was fully functional when I wrote:

“One name to file away for future reference: MSU Assistant Coach Brian Gregory.”

And this:

“I never met Coach Purnell. I only admired his handiwork from 225 miles up I-75 and got to write about it occasionally here on UDPride.com. I appreciate all that he did to restore my pride in being a Flyer.

Now: Let’s go find the best basketball coach in America.”

The day before Tax Day, FTS offered readers a “Potpourri” of emails from post-traumatic shocked Flyer Fans and the psychoanalysis of same by that noted shrink, BenXU of the MM MB. BenXU has a major chubby for UD and likened our cheering against X in the A-10 Tourney to UT fans rooting against UConn in the Women’s NCAA Regionals held at UD Arena. Benny Boy conveniently overlooked the many X fans cheering wildly for Temple (and against UD) when those two teams played in the A-10 semis, after X had already lost. The MM MB had a long thread of posts, started by BenXU, that took cheap shots at UD and its fans—but it has since been deleted. You need professional help, son.

It was almost a month later that I wrote about my exploits as a “Pick-up Hoops Junkie” and chronicled my travels from Bennett School in my hometown to hooping with Negele Knight, Vinny Johnson, Ryan Perryman and Vova Severovas, now starting as a freshman across town at WSU.

Summing it all up:

“What’s amazing is that today, at age 52, I still think my best basketball is ahead of me, not in the rearview mirror. Basketball keeps me young.”

Less than a week later, FTS was back with a collection of random thoughts, such as:

–“Is there anything in sports that is both totally subjective and at the same time more important than the strike zone?”

–“I always assumed that one of my all-time favorite flicks “The Shawshank Redemption” was filmed in the state of Maine. Imagine my surprise when the Elder Swampette and I drove by the actual prison used in “Shawshank” in Mansfield, OH. Who knew?”

The end of May edition of FTS allowed me to pen a follow-up to a column I did last year on the Younger Swampette’s softball exploits. Her HS team had been eliminated in Districts 2 years in a row by West Bloomfield, but the 3rd time was the charm, as Caitlin threw a 2 hitter and beat West Boo Foo 5-0.

“Nuthin’ Shakin’ but the Leaves in the Trees and There Ain’t No Breeze” reflected the lack of Flyer news, recruiting or otherwise, that takes place in the middle of a “dead period” as it’s called in coaching circles. I had to resort to writing about the NBA, MLB and golf. Now I see why Chris took the summer off in 2002.

Not much had changed a week later when I authored a collection of useless info such as:

–“Did you know that 65% of all human beings who have lived past the age of 50 are still walking the earth?”

–“Did you know that Detroit is the only place (in the U.S.) where you have to head due south to enter Canada?”

The 1st of July brought a writer’s best friend in slow news times–more emails!–on subjects ranging from Zihuatanejo, to softball, to Stone Harbor and the Red Scare. I suppose now is as good a time as any to say that not only do I read all the emails that you guys are nice enuf to send, but I answer them and, more likely than not, print them, too.

2 weeks later I reported on the Deveroes Summer League and the performance of past, present and future Flyers. I got a truckload of crap on the WSU MB for my impressions of the Doliboa Bros. vs. The W Boys game and my lack of clarity as to stats, who exactly was covering whom and stuff like that. One WSU poster even thought I should have had a fact checker on staff! Hey, I’m one guy with a pad of paper, casually watching a meaningless summer game—sue me.

Naming a column “Miscellanea” required me to look it up in the dictionary to make sure it was spelled correctly. I “Googled” Norm Plummer after he verballed with UD and found several interesting tidbits, such as the fact that he is the President of Bigston Information Technologies in Elk Grove, IL.

My answer to MB bitching about UD’s OOC schedule was this:

“I have one simple solution for BG: Get ranked and stay there. ESPN shows highlights of all the ranked teams and the OOC schedule will only hurt our RPI if UD loses one of them—so don’t.” So far, so good!

Early August brought some pre-birthday reflection on the part of your dutiful scribe. Sitting on a basketball at an empty HS playground on an 80 degree day is as good a place as any to ponder “The Secret to Life”:

“So what have I learned in my 52 years and 364 days? Don’t take anything for granted. Do what you say and say what you mean. Treat people right. Be careful what you wish for, you might just get it.”

Next up was my 2nd annual “How I Spent My Summer Vacation” column, highlighting the 7:00am pickup games on the oceanfront playground at Stone Harbor, NJ. Once again I had the unique pleasure of playing with and against 6’9”, 400 lb. “Charlie” who played collegiately at Lafayette. Good times.

A week later, I analyzed several Internet recruiting rumors involving Brian Roberts, Trent Meachem and Jimmy Binnie which, had they been mishandled, could possibly have jeopardized BG’s ability to sign any or all of them. Fortunately, that was not the case. What amazes me is that some so-called “recruiting gurus” will publish as fact what is really only their ‘feeling.’

Matt Schwade from FlyerHoops.net called out Jon Stovall from PrepSpotlight.com when he posted this on Jon’s MB:

“I just talked to Jimmy Binnie not more than a minute ago. He has not committed.”

My reaction:

“Shame on you, Matt! You mean you actually talked to the player in question and asked him point-blank if he had committed? What’s wrong with you, dude? That’s just not how it’s done! You call that reporting? Yeah, Stovall and (Mike) Duncan, we do, even if it was a guy from the other Flyer Fan website who did it and not us. Good for you, Matt!”

September brought my bi-annual hoop adventure at the local Y with UD Hall of Fame nominee Ryan Perryman and this observation:

“I have to tell you that players like (Jeff) Grayer and RP operate at a whole ‘nother level—literally. Several times Ryan went up for a rebound and it was as if he was standing on a platform and the rest of us had our feet nailed to the floor. Simply stated: RP plays above the rim. I guess that’s why they call him ‘The King of Rebound’ in Korea.”

When in doubt, do an FTS Mailbag! The latest edition featured notes from former Flyer Steve Hess, old friend Joe Sutherland, the one and only Cigar Boy and from Colleen Valenzuela, the President of the Philly UD Alumni Chapter, inviting me to attend their summer fling at the Jersey Shore.

2 weeks later, it was time to “empty the mental recycle bin” with stuff like:

–It’s never too early to come up with nicknames for Future Flyers. How about:

Trent “Gonna Teach ‘Em” Meachem
Jimmy “Ain’t Too Skinny” Binnie
Brian Roberts “Rules of Order”
Norm “Somebody Call a” Plummer

To which I now need to add:

Chris “Miami Vice” Alvarez
“Just in the” Nick “of Time” Stafford
Jon “The Man Who Would Be” Kingston

A month later, I lamented the Red Sox exit from the ALCS with this observation:

“Remember that pain you felt after the Flyers 1st round NCAA loss to Tulsa last spring? Multiply that by a factor of at least 50 and that’s how dazed and confused I was when I hit the OFF button on my remote at about 12:15am on Friday morning—while Aaron Boone’s HR was still in the air.”

Halloween brought the 2nd annual FTS tour of the magazine rack, with highlights from all of the College Hoops Yearbooks. The lowlight was something called “Jim Feist’s College Basketball Preview”:

“Do not I repeat, do not, under any circumstances, buy this magazine! Anyone who posts on the UDPride.com Message Board could have written a better, more in-depth preview on the Flyers—even SMELL THE GLOVE. They should be paying you $6.99 to read it, not the other way around.”

The next 2 weeks featured updated reprints of the FTS Maui Preview from the last time the Flyers visited the islands. I won’t bother making those of you who accompanied the team nostalgic and those who did not green with envy. Suffice it to say, the next time the Flyers play in the Maui Invitational, Mrs. Swampy and I are gonna be there.

December brought a review of the 4 major sports websites and their college hoops coverage. An analysis of my alma mater CNNSI.com concluded with this:

“Ugghhh. This site has become so reliant on the Associated Press wire service for content they should change the name to APSI.com.”

The final installment of FTS for 2003 documented the growing amount of positive press that the Flyers are garnering from folks like Jay Bilas and Andy Katz. It also allowed me to clean out the email inbox, with correspondence from folks like John R, Greg Bilotta and Mark Ryan, all the way from Dublin, Ireland.

These columns and every one ever written by anyone for UDPride.com are available in the archives section, if you are ever really bored and have nothing better to do:

https://www.udpride.com/archives/archives.htm

As always, it’s my pleasure to be able to toss my 2 cents out into cyberspace and actually have somebody read ‘em. Thanks for allowing me on your PC monitor.

Merry Christmas, Happy New Year and Go Flyers!

That’s it “From the Swamp.”