BEVERLY HILLS (MI) — So Ken Pomeroy, his good buddy Al Gorithm, Atlantic 10 Message Board genius prognosticator WH and Swampy Meadows walked into a bar.

Stop me if you’ve heard this one before, okay?

We settled into a roomy, red, tuck and roll virgin Naugahyde upholstered booth built more for six than for four. WH and yours truly sat on one side; Ken and Al on the other. We ordered a round of adult beverages. Pomeroy asked for some kind of frou-frou umbrella drink; WH ordered a Narragansett since he’s a UMass guy; yours truly tried a Kaliber non-alcoholic beer, since it’s made by Guinness; Al Gorithm doesn’t drink booze either, so he ordered a vinegar and water and asked Bernadette the waitress for a basket of numbers to chew on while we chatted.

After making fun of Pomeroy for his bad taste in drinks, the subject quickly turned to the Atlantic 10. More specifically, the University of Dayton’s conference record prediction, now that UD’s non-con nonsense was finally behind us and the real fun could begin.

Swampy: So Pomeroy, where do you see UD finishing now? You started out at 8-8 and then after the GMU victory you changed it to 9-7. Can’t you make up your mind?

Pomegranate: It’s all about my man Al Gorithm here, Ace. That and the elusive “luck factor.”

Al Gorithm: And Dayton has been one lucky motor scooter lately, according to my calculations. Check out this chart:

http://www.kenpom.com/index.php?s=RankLuck

Swampy: So wait a minute here. If UD is so lucky, when does that luck actually translate into Ws in your projections?

Pomodoro: Oh, I just wait until after Dayton wins, write their victory off to sh*t luck and don’t bother changing the predictions unless I absolutely have to.

Al: It’s a very complicated, totally arbitrary process. We use the same shifty — I said “shifty” — model that the NCAA Selection Committee uses to defend themselves when they leave non-BCS schools out of the tournament.

Swampy: Sounds like some fuzzy math to me, Ken and Al. What up, WH?

WH: Right now I see UD as one of maybe the top three teams in the league: Temple, Richmond and the Flyers. Of course, they still have to play my Minutemen on the road and that’s never easy.

Pom Pom: Guys, let us not forget that UD lost by 34 to UC!

Al: Basically, I will continue to say that Dayton will play like crap on the road…that is, until they don’t.

Swampy: Speaking of road games, you have the #52 Flyers (according to our own, extremely accurate UD Pride RPI. Linky goodness: https://www.udpride.com/images/rpi.htm ) losing at both #151 SLU and #122 UMass in the next week. What’s up with that?

Pompadour: Al and I foresee that UD is about to become the victim of a very unlucky streak…even tho we currently have them ranked as the fifth luckiest team in the country.

Swampy: Kinda sounds like that five game losing streak that you two geniuses envisioned the Flyers enduring which, in reality, turned out to be a five game win streak for the Red and Blue.

Al: Hey you guys both have roots in New England — how ‘bout them Patriots, huh?

Swampy: Nice try, Al. Okay, enuf of this nonsense, fellas. Let’s lay all of our cards on the table. Gimme your projections for UD in-conference. You first, WH.

WH: Well, as you know Swamp I totally nailed Dayton’s OOC record at 12-3. I have them going a solid 11-5 in-conference. Don’t ask me which five games they’re gonna lose…I’m just hoping one of them might possibly be to the Minutemen.

Swampy: Al and Ken, where do you see the Flyers finishing in A-10 play?

Pom Dog: We’re sticking with 9-7, featuring road losses at SLU, UMass, X, to the Dukes and Rhody and at home to Temple and Richmond.

Al: How about you, smart guy? What does your crystal ball have to say about the Flyboys?

Swampy: First of all, I don’t see any way that UD loses to SLU on Wednesday when the Billikens are without Willie Reed and Kwamain Mitchell. Nor do I see them losing at UMass for that matter, after the shellacking they got at the hands of Central Connecticut Monday night — sorry, WH.

WH: No problem, Swamp.

Swampy: Furthermore, this is the year that the Flyers will finally beat X at the Uniform Rental Center. As a matter of fact, the only two games that I see UD possibly dropping are on the road at Rhody and at the Dukes. That would make them 14-2 and Atlantic 10 Champs over Temple in a tie-breaker.

Al: 14-2? Arrgghhh! Does not compute! I think my head is about to asplode! Aiieee!!!

Al’s Head: Boom goes the dynamite!

Swampy: Hey Kenny, clean up this mess will ya? And thanks for the drinks, dude. C’mon WH, let’s get outta here.

Pomeranian: (muttering under his breath) Massachusetts-holes!

Swampy and WH: (sticking their heads around the corner) Statistical anomaly!

That’s it “From the Swamp.”
You can email me at: [email protected]