“I always wondered what rock bottom would feel like. I thought it would be dark, damp, slippery, hard, and lonely. I always thought it would have the dungeon-like quality of a closed off bedroom. It is not any of these things. In fact, when I discovered rock bottom this weekend in Tennessee, I found out from the weather standpoint it is even pleasant, sunny and warm with a bit of a breeze. Surprisingly, the place is not lonely either. There are thirty of my best friends here with me along with four coaches who each wear the strain of the place on their respective faces. Rock bottom is as different as its occurrence is unexpected.”

“Our drive to this place has taken approximately three weeks. In those three weeks, we have lost 8 games while winning only a solitary one. As a team, there is no discrimination; I believe we have lost in almost every conceivable way. We have played well and lost. We have played poorly and lost. We have pitched and played defense well for the most part. We have not hit for the most part. On occasion, these roles have been reversed. Coach has yelled, threatened, and punished. Coach has consoled and built us back up as well. The common denominator throughout has been frustration.”

“And frustration without a shroud of doubt is what consumes me. I am frustrated with the way I am playing. I am frustrated with the way we as a team are playing. I am frustrated by the fact that we cannot get a home game because for one the weather is horrible and two our facilities grossly lag behind those of our major competitors (See the fact that we are playing a home game at DIII Hanover College this week). This frustration makes itself apparent in the first moments as I wake up and in those last moments of the day when I am trying to fall asleep. Rock bottom stays with you all day.”

“This is the problem with losing. Losing forces you to contemplate it constantly until it ceases to exist after your next game. When you win the good feelings of the game just kind of fade away and you are left to live your daily life without really thinking about baseball. Everything is OK and it is left at the ballpark. However when losing, the feelings scorch you inside so severely that its presence is the only thing to think about. I am left to sit and think about why I didn’t handle situations in the game differently. I think about my thought process before going up to the plate. I think about my attitudes and emotions during the game. I contemplate the dynamics of the game, the swings of momentum, and the moments where victory slipped by seemingly unnoticed. These thoughts run through my mind continually in class, in the shower, and even watching TV. When it is going poorly, as it is now, you never really leave the baseball field because it never ceases to be on your mind.”

“And yet these are the very kind of thoughts that do not allow the tide to turn and the ascent to begin straight up from the bottom. When a baseball player thinks it is easy to get “in your own head” and when in your head optimal performance does not occur. It does not occur because in this game things happen too fast and if time is spent thinking then that time has been lost. The only option is to just play. One needs to play apart from the thoughts of how to correct what you’ve been doing wrong. Play without the thoughts of your previous failures. Play bereft of any negativity and instead with confidence that this indeed is the day that the tide will change for good. When this change has taken place then you begin to soar straight up from the bottom.”

“I am ending this article a little shorter than normal for this very reason. I need to stop thinking about what is going wrong about what I am doing wrong. Instead I am going to cease thinking about baseball at all and am instead just going to play. I am going to allow the work I have done to come to fruition by completely getting out of the way of myself. I am going to quit thinking and start playing. I am just going to swing.”