BEVERLY HILLS (MI) — Many Dayton fans have compared the Flyers’ performance of late to Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. So, with apologies to Robert Louis Stevenson and Lennon and McCartney, may I present “Being For The Benefit of Mr. Hyde” sung to the tune of “Being For The Benefit Of Mr. Kite.” Hit it, fellas:

For the benefit of Mr. Hyde

UD plays GM Friday night on ‘SPN

The Flyer Guys will all be there

Late of Duquesne’s fancy lair, what a scene

Against man to man, a zone and even a trap press

The guys will find it hard to hit the nets

In this way Mr. Hyde will challenge the world

The celebrated Mr. H.

Performs his feat on Friday night at the Arena

The Flyer fans will dance and sing

As Mr. Hyde flies through the air, don’t be late

Messrs. J and H. assure the public

Their production will be second to none

And of course Jordy will scowl at every foul

The game begins at 7 sharp

When Mr. Hyde performs his tricks without a sound

And Mr. H. will demonstrate

Ten three point shots he’ll undertake without a make

Having been three days in preparation

A splendid time is guaranteed for all

And tonight Mr. Hyde is topping the bill

“Being For The Benefit Of Mr. Kite” appeared on the legendary “Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band” disc. Here’s the “FTS” spin on the title tune as well as the one it immediately transitions into, “With A Little Help From My Friends.”

It began four years ago they say

When General Grant first taught the team to play

They’ve been running hot and cold of late

Can they gel as one at this late date?

So may I introduce to you

The team you’ve loved for all these years

General Grant’s Schizo Hardwood Team

We’re General Grant’s Schizo Hardwood Team

We hope you will enjoy the game

General Grant’s Schizo Hardwood Team

Sit back, prepare for more of the same

General Grant’s Schizo, General Grant’s Schizo

General Grant’s Schizo Hardwood Team

We wish that you could be here

But COVID’s a buzzkill

You’re such a lovely audience

We’d like a win at home for us

We’d love to win at home

We don’t really know which team will show

But we thought that you might like to know

That Jalen Crutcher’s gonna shoot a three

And he wants you all to cheer with glee

So let me introduce to you

The one and only Jalen C

And General Grant’s Schizo Hardwood Team

(Cheers…cheers…cheers)

What did you do when we sucked at Duquesne?

Did you scream and turn off the TV?

Lend us your eyes and we’ll play a new team

And we’ll try not to miss any threes

Oh, we get by with a little help from our fans

Mm, we fly high with a little help from our fans

Mm, gonna try with a little help from our fans

What can we do when our shots won’t go in?

And George Mason leaves us all alone?

How will we feel by the end of the play?

Will we be sad because they won’t go down?

No, we get by with a little help from our fans

Mm, we fly high with a little help from our fans

Mm, gonna try with a little help from our fans

Can you feed anybody?

We need some assists to score

Could it be anybody?

We want somebody to score

Would you believe in a blowout tonight?

Yes, we’re certain that they happen all the time

What will we see when they turn on the lights?

We can’t tell just by the betting line

Oh, we get by with a little help from our fans

Mm, we fly high with a little help from our fans

Oh, gonna try with a little help from our fans

Can you feed anybody?

We need some assists to score

Could it be anybody?

We want somebody to score

Oh, we get by with a little help from our fans

Mm, we fly high with a little help from our fans

Oh, gonna try with a little help from our fans

Yes, we get by with a little help from our fans

With a little help from our fans

That’s it “From the Swamp”
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