I sit there watching the teams race up and down the court throwing up bomb after bomb. The officials are calling a curious game, but it doesn’t bother me too much because my team is winning. I’m excited about winning, but I’m more intent on watching the blonde kid playing point guard. He really seems to understand the game, almost always making the right pass or sticking his nose in for another defensive stop. If the truth were known, I’m really more interested in the kid than the game. You see, he’s my son Justin, playing in his first organized game. When I was growing up, I was going to be the next Henry Finkel. I’d practice that hook shot over and over. I soon realized that I wasn’t going to reach 7 feet tall, so I became the next Don May.

It didn’t take me too long to realize that I wasn’t going to make it to 6’4″ either, so I then became the next Bobby Joe Hooper. It wasn’t long after that, that I realized that I wasn’t going to be anybody. I just wasn’t good enough.

When Justin was born, my wife and I put together a birth announcement that looked like the front page of the Columbus Dispatch. Under Sports, the headline read, “Requests for season tickets increases 30% at the University of Dayton as Justin Churan announced his plans to accept a basketball scholarship for the 2009 academic year.” When my second son, Jason was born, color technology was available and it was the front page of USAToday. The headline read, “Another National Title? University of Dayton signs brother of famed three-point shooter. UD guard Justin Churan staying senior year to play with brother Jason.”

Knowing that I was never going to make it, my sons became the focal point of my quest. They are six and eight now. I still have a number of years that I can kid myself. I have often wondered what it would be like to be a Flyer dad. What would it be like to see my son wearing the red and white of my beloved Flyers? What would I feel like the first time that he took the floor and Charlie Robinson would announce, “Starting at guard, from Columbus, Ohio, Justin Chuuuuurrrrrannnnnn.”

I recently had the opportunity to sit down with two Flyer dads to try to understand just what the dream is all about. Dick Ashman is a lot like Mark. He’s tall, dark and quiet, very quiet. Pete Waleskowski is also very much like his son. Keith is the first one to jump up and cheer a good play. His dad wears his heart on his sleeve, and is never afraid to jump in the middle of any discussion. Both Dick and Pete played a little ball themselves. Although never stars in their own right, Dick saw his playing career end with a trip to the army and Pete with a trip to the operating table with a bum knee. They soon moved on to the more important things in life and basketball became secondary. It wasn’t long before sons came along and the dream was reborn once again. It was during Mark’s sophomore year of HS that Dick realized there seemed to be a future in basketball.

“Mark was about 6’6″ when he had a growth spurt and the last few inches really set him apart.” Keith decided that basketball was to be his sport at a somewhat younger age despite having played baseball and soccer among other sports.

“It was in late junior high school that Keith began to show both the skills and the interest in basketball. He then came to the conclusion that both were needed to play at the next level. It was a combination of his size and willingness to work that made us realize that he had the potential,” Pete related.

It wasn’t always easy and it certainly wasn’t cheap. Today’s basketball requires more than just shooting around in the back yard. Keith went to his first basketball camp (Five Star) between his freshman and sophomore years. I asked Pete what he estimated he had spent in time and money on Keith’s basketball education.

“I think I would be really frightened if I knew what it was. It’s literally tens of thousands of dollars. Especially when you look at just his last two years of high school basketball, between the Five Star camp, the tuition and expenses involved and AAU tournament costs. We went to nine or ten different tournaments, from Orlando to Purdue to Lexington to Cleveland to Michigan.”

Mark’s first camp was in the seventh grade when he came to a camp at UD. Since then he has been to four others with the highlight being a big man’s camp in Tennessee. Dick relates, “Truck Robinson’s camp two years ago really helped him a lot. He walked away with a great deal of confidence. We have spent thousands of dollars and traveled all over the Midwest, but it has all been worth it.” Both dads spent a good deal of time working with their sons when they were young. Pete helped coach several teams that Keith was on in addition to talking through the fundamentals and the mental aspects of the game. Dick and Mark would often work on Mark’s game with a lot of one on one.

“We went to the ‘Y’ every day after school starting in elementary school. He had just started high school when he beat me for the first time. It actually made me feel pretty good. I always wanted him to be better than me,” said Dick.

Having known a few players over the last several years, it’s easy to become friends and take a special interest. When sitting in the stands it is also easy to pick up on the frustrations of those around you. Sometimes their comments are rather pointed and often just down right cruel. I know it bothered me a great deal and I was no more than a friend. What will it be like when Joe Bandwagon Fan, working on his third beer, starts ripping your child’s play?

“There are a lot of situations now where you have people in the stands show their lack of knowledge about the game with their inappropriate comments. After you are exposed to that enough, you just learn to let it roll off your back,” said Pete. Dick has gone through some of the same situations, “You can get pretty upset, but it is best just to leave it alone and keep your thoughts to yourself.” The recruiting process can certainly have its ups and downs. I asked about the annoyances and Pete related that the phone was constantly ringing. It all started around June 1 after Keith’s Junior year. Coaches can only call once each week, so there are some limitations. The coaches call and try to find the kid’s hot button. In Keith’s case it was WWF wrestling. Coaches would call and use that angle to create a friendship and sell their school.

Mark received letters from over 200 schools starting his sophomore year but really accelerated during his junior year. “The good part of the recruiting process is that you get to meet a lot of great men who are dedicated to their jobs and are committed to doing the best for their school and program. It is a great honor to be able to experience that. At the same time, there is a lot of pressure that once it is behind me I’ll probably say I’m glad I don’t have to go through that again,” laughed Pete.

It wasn’t a lot different for Dick and his family. “Recruiting was very business-like. We always had to be there to make sure that no rules were being broken. Overall, it was pretty enjoyable for us.” Will my dream come to pass? How much can or should I influence the boys’ selection of school to attend? What if the worst of all possibilities happen and they are infatuated with the University of Cincinnati? I was a little surprised at what the dads told me. When the Waleskowskis came to town, Keith was in the fifth grade. They would often come to games or watch on TV. A good deal of the decision can be just how well the player feels that he can fit in with the other players and students.

The coach can do the greatest selling job in the world, but if the recruit does not click with the players, it could all be for not. One of the questions we ask every spring and fall is, “Why didn’t Joe Jumpingjack pick UD?” The real question is why did a player pick UD? How much of an influence are the parents in that decision. I was initially surprised but not disappointed from a personal standpoint with the answer that I received. In Mark’s case, it was completely his decision. He talked to numerous schools, but there was something special about UD.

“He just knew it was the right place. They (UD) talked a lot about academics and that was one of the big selling points,” said Dick. Pete related, “The coaches knew that we were going to be part of the decision making process, so they sold both Keith and us on their schools.

Education was very important to us and the coaches knew it. He had the grades and the SAT to show its importance.” Both Mark and Keith had other opportunities. Mark was a highly recruited big man. If Jason Collier had not been graduating the same year, Ashman would have easily been the best big man coming from the state that year. When it is all said and done, there may be a good argument that he was indeed the top player available that year. Bob Huggins was a threat to grab the best center we have had since Henry Finkel.

Dick related that, “Huggins was smooth, very good. He came up once and sent an assistant to four or five games. They called all the time. They are good recruiters, I can see how they get so many good players.” Michigan State was probably Mark’s second choice because of a relationship that formed with Tom Crean, who is now the head coach at Marquette. Although not as highly regarded, several coaches put the full court press on Keith after an impressive summer before his senior year. Keith received letters from numerous coaches after his performance at the Five Star camp.

Pete related, “Coach Gaudio from Loyola of Maryland did a wonderful job and put a sincere effort in for Keith. He said that Keith was a better player than the league that they are in, but Keith would be a great fit there. We had several other opportunities (Akron, Virginia Tech, Morehead State, Ohio University to name a few.) The disappointing part of it was that Keith wasn’t one of those players that was seen early enough at the high level during the summer to have teams fighting over him. There were several schools that offered him scholarships, but offered multiple players scholarships who committed before Keith was ready for that decision.”

The real question still hasn’t been answered. What was it like to actually see your son out on the court? Dick has now seen or heard Mark take the floor a record 105 consecutive times. “It was unbelievable watching Mark take the court for the first time. After following all of these guys for so many years, it was a real thrill,” as Dick talked about being a fan since the sixties. Although he has yet to see Keith appear in an official game, some of the same feelings are there for Pete. When Keith was a sophomore at Alter, Pete had his first indication that it was going to be a wonderful ride. Alter was playing Roger Bacon, who featured Eugene Land and Branden Macintosh. A number of college coaches were in the stands not only to watch Land and Macintosh but also to take a look at the Moore twins and Chris Wallace.

“Keith came in and scored 15 points against these guys and all of the talk was Keith. You are ecstatic, you are so proud. It feels so good when you know your son can accomplish what so few of us can do. As a parent, it doesn’t get any better than that.”

What’s next? Mark is certainly getting some looks from the pro scouts. With the rapid advancement that Keith has shown, you never know what might happen. It is not unusual to be watching an NBA game and see the camera pan the crowd and zero in on a parent of one of the players. It is harder and harder for me to catch my friend, Alice Daniels, in town. She spends as much time on the road trying to catch up with Antonio as she does working as a consultant and being a member of the NBA Moms. I posed the question, “What if he makes it to the next step, where will you be?” There was no question in Pete’s mind, “My wife and I made the commitment a couple of years ago that we are here for our boys. We’re not here for jobs or any other materialistic things. Our kids are our life. If Keith had that opportunity, we will be there for him.” In Mark’s case, he won’t be making many trips alone. “We’ll go wherever he goes,” seconded Dick. Although a little scary, I think I still want to be a Flyer dad. I guess I will still accompany the boys to Oliver’s Summer Father/Son basketball camp. It’s worth sleeping in a bunk bed in a non air-conditioned dorm and eating dorm food that I thought I had given up years ago.

It’s worth limping into the house on Father’s Day telling my wife that I am too old to participate in the Father/Son Basketball Olympics. It seems to be worth sending them to every basketball camp available if there is only that slight chance that I can hear Charlie and 13,500 UD fans on their feet, clapping their hands, waiting for my son to take the Arena floor.