Okay, so this has very little, if anything, to do with UD Basketball. But these are some random things that have recently piqued my interest, tweaked my curiosity or just simply pissed me off really bad:

— So, I’m driving down I-75 to pick up my daughter from UD for the Columbus Day weekend. I’m in the process of passing a school bus, when a kid in the back holds up a computer-generated sign with a (cell) phone number on it and underneath it says: “call me!” Could there be a bigger waste of your time and your cell phone minutes than to actually call this kid? And if you did, what would you say to him? “Hi, I saw your sign in the back of the bus and just had to call!” Not to mention, there’s a good chance that he’s probably not on your speed-dial, so you’d have to punch in 10 digits at 70 MPH. Yo, kid, what’s up with that?

— On my way down I-75 in Monroe, MI I passed a billboard for the Beef Jerky Outlet, the enticements for which I have yet to succumb. Is that all they sell? Do you get jerky at ‘outlet’ prices like you do on Hanes underwear at those factory outlet centers? Got any possum (“the other other white meat”) jerky or do they only sell that at the Possum Jerky Outlet? And if it’s called “Beef Jerky Outlet,” why is there a picture of a buffalo on the billboard? What exactly is up with that place?

— Speaking of I-75, has there ever been a time in the recorded history of the state of Ohio that some part of this treasured Interstate Highway hasn’t been ripped apart, causing major traffic tie ups? On my way down from MI to Dayton, I saw a fun-filled 4 mile backup on the northbound side of I-75 in Findlay. On the way home, I got caught in a nighttime paving job in downtown Toledo and almost rear-ended a semi. Don’t even get me started on the nuke job they did over the summer in downtown Dayton and the havoc that it caused. Will they ever be finished with I-75? When they are finally done, will it be time to start ripping it up all over again? What the heck is up with that?

— Is there a more frustrating situation for Dayton hoops fans than the continued insistence of Linda Bruno and the A-10 in holding the Conference Championship in the half-empty Spectrum in Philly every year? Tell me that sucker wouldn’t sell out in a heartbeat, regardless if UD made the finals or not, if it was held at the Arena? What is she thinking? Who is she kidding? Hey Linda, what’s up with that?

— There isn’t a worse head of hair on this planet than that which rests atop Gene Keady of future-Flyer opponent Purdue? Keady has surpassed such “Bad Hair Hall of Famers” as the late Howard “I tell it like it is, except when it comes to my hair and my name” Cossell, former Illini Coach Lou “The Rug” Henson and ABC’s Sam Donaldson. Please, tell me that’s not really Keady’s hair. Tell me it’s a hairpiece that’s been shellacked in place. What’s up with that hair, Gene?

— For those of you who have a DVD player, the good news is that “The Godfather” is finally available on DVD. The even better news is that “The Godfather, Part 2” is included with the original. The really bad news is that so is “The Godfather, Part 3.” Has there ever been a worse sequel in the history of filmmaking than “3” was? What’s painful is that “2” is probably the best follow-up ever made. What was Francis Ford Coppola thinking? Casting his own daughter Sofia in a major role that was way, way over her head? The mob is hooked up with the Vatican? Hey, Godfather, whatsa up with that, huh?

— So, I’m ordering flowers online for my brother-in-law’s mother’s (otherwise known as my sister’s mother-in-law’s) funeral. I’m midway thru the process, ready to type in my credit card info to complete the order and one of those annoying pop-up windows appears. That’s not so bad, but this one asks would I like to include Mylar balloons or perhaps a nice stuffed animal with my order? Yeah, sure–nothing like a big ole bunch of balloons to perk things up at the funeral home, eh? What, indeed, is up with that?

— Speaking of pop-up windows, if you ever use AOL Anywhere to access your email, don’t you just love that little pop-up that appears right at the exact moment that you are typing in your screen name and password? Naturally, because it pops up, anything you type doesn’t show up in the box until you eliminate the window. Do you think there is some Director of Pain-In-The-Ass Technology at AOL HQ in Virginia who does nothing but figure out how to time these things for maximum annoyance? Does anybody ever buy the crap they are selling in those obnoxious suckers? What’s the pop-up with that?

— “Flyer Madness” is dead, replaced by a couple of open scrimmages. Remember how people used to piss and moan about what a joke “FM” was, that it was lame, an embarrassment to the recruits in attendance and a total waste of time? I’ll bet dollars to donuts that some of the same yahoos will complain about the lack of an event, how big “Midnight Madness” is at other schools, how we oughta get Dickie V or Dan Patrick to come in for it and why aren’t the Flyers doing something to showcase the team? Damned if you do, damned if you don’t, Coach Purnell. What’s OP with that?

That’s it “From the Swamp.”